A Celebrity’s Guide To (Actually Good) Sexy Stunts

It's a well known fact that sex mixed with celebrity is an extremely powerful combination—and that any celebrity (or almost celebrity) who properly wields the power of sex appeal can rocket themselves to new heights of stardom. Unfortunately, most of the time that seems to translate into something like posing for Playboy (yawn) or making a terrible sex tape (double yawn). Well, we won't stand for it any longer. Celebrities, you need to start channeling your sexiness into projects that are actually worth your (or at least our) time. Not sure how to do it? Never fear: we've got plenty of ideas.

[Above: Crista Flanagan poses for Playboy.]

Pose naked for a good magazine. Let's get one thing straight: we actually don't have a problem with celebrities posing naked. In fact, we completely, whole heartedly encourage it. But if you're going to disrobe in print, why not pose for a publication that's creative, interesting, and will publish gorgeous photos? (And if, say, you don't want to pose naked—like, say, Olivia Munn—then stay in the pages of Maxim, and don't waste the time of the Playboy reading public).

Pros: Your naked body will be beautifully commemorated by a talented photographer, and showcased in a fantastic, highbrow magazine.

Cons: Your naked body will end up all over the internet—and not always on art appreciation sites.

Example: Kelly Brook posing for Exhibition.

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Make a good sex tape. Like posing naked, making a sex tape isn't an inherently bad idea. In fact, with the proper effort and editing, a celebrity sex tape could, in fact, be a very, very excellent idea. Unfortunately, most celebrities don't put any effort into their sex tapes: they make a terribly shot recording of lackluster sex, ship it off to Vivid, and call it a day (well, after they make time for a press release about how their intimate moments have been broadcast to the public against their will, anyway).

If you want to star in a sex tape, bully for you! But put in the time and care to make sure it's a good sex tape, one that actually showcases your talents in the sack. Oh, and once it's out there, actually own up to the fact that you chose to make and distribute a sex tape. There's nothing sexy about lying to the public.

Pros: It's the thrill of being a pornstar without the difficult work or worries of being a pornstar.

Cons: Though sex tapes have become relatively mainstream these days, they're still the most extreme form of showing that you're hip and sexy. And once your naked, gyrating body is out there, it's out there for good. So if you go this route, make sure that you're comfortable with having it be something you live with for life.

Example: It's been so long since we've seen an actually good celebrity sex tape that we've pretty much forgotten what they're like. But—eternal optimists that we are—we're still holding out hope that "Erica Lynne is Badd" (teaser above) will be at least a little good.