Lars von Trier And The Real “Nymphomaniac”

The iron is hot, says director Gazzman, so why not have Tori Black play the lead in controversial Cannes darling and Hitler name-dropping director Lars von Trier's planned "Nymphomaniac"? After all, Black has inhabited the role before...

"I am not saying von Trier has stolen my ideas," says Gazzman. "But first he shoots pubes in Scotland, where I am from (Emily Watson did a full monty in von Trier's 1996 "Breaking the Waves") and now he wants to remake 'Nymphomaniac'?"

Prior to last week's non-meltdown in Cannes while promoting "Melancholia," von Trier announced his next film would be titled "Nymphomaniac."

Truth be told, there are at least 73 porn movies with the title "Nymphomaniac," but none has Tori Black cavorting perfectly whorishly through English manor homes, as she did for the understandably upset Gazzman in last year's epic.

"I could probably get Emily Watson to do my porn version of 'Breaking the Waves' in a second," says Gazzman. "I would substitute 'Maidenhead' for 'Waves,' as you'd expect. She is bound to be impressed with my multiple AVN awards. But I don't send her the 9-page script, you see, because I am a gentleman."

· Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
· Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
· Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)

Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)
Young Harlots Academy (youngharlotsacademy.com)
Lars von Trier's Next: The "Nymphomaniac" (ioncinema.com)
Buy "Tori Black: Nymphomaniac" (tlavideo.com)