Don’t “Cum For Me,” Cum For Humanity

When Mike Adriano brings a woman to orgasm, he's not doing for her, for himself, or even for the viewer. He's doing it for everybody on this planet, making sure that the world gets a steady stream of positive, exhausted fuck vibes.

Mike has been reading a lot of "The Secret" lately (about a year later than everyone else), and now that he's all wrapped up in that pseudo-scientific, quantum mechanics of thought and good intentions hoopla, he wants to end war by making Krissy Lynn, Mason Moore, Chanel Preston, London Keys, and Andy San Dimas come their brains out. Most. Sensible. Plan. Ever.

In order to achieve this goal, Mike went out and bought a bunch of Hitachi Magic Wands for all his gal pals. Some of you might think that's cheating, but we think you're being narrow-minded. Andy San Dimas has been around the pornstar block more than a few times, and she knows the difference between an orgasm and a Wand-assisted orgasm. You can see it in her face: with Mike spooning her, balls-deep in her tight pussy, and that purple cudgel vibrating on her clit, Andy's eyes start floating toward the ceiling. Are they rolling to the back of her head? Or is she looking into the face of God?

For those of you wondering, yes, anal orgasms are equally good for the state of the universe. Krissy Lynn teaches this to Mike during their scene! He suspects that she only said that so he would rim and screw her in the ass, thus giving her pussy more time with the Magic Wand, but he's cool with being tricked like that. Is Krissy's will to lie to her friend detrimental to the overall message of love that "Cum For Me" sends? Hell naw.

We hope that Digital Sin gets recognized for this mission of goodwill, and that statues of the performers are erected all over the world. We're especially looking forward to London Keys's statue. The finest sculptors in the world will spend years working on capturing her sweaty bed hair and her delicate grip around the base of the vibrator. When you see the detailing on the statue's fishnet stockings, you will immediately be reminded of the thighs on Gianlorenzo Bernini's "Pluto and Persephone," and then you will realize that Bernini was a hack.

But we don't want to get negative! That would taint the huggy feelings that we get from "Cum For Me." This movie is already in stores, so we highly suggest picking up a copy and playing along at home.

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Krissy Lynn
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Andy San Dimas
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Chanel Preston
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Chanel Preston
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Chanel Preston
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Chanel Preston
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London Keys
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London Keys
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London Keys
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London Keys
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London Keys
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Mason Moore
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Mason Moore
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Mason Moore
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Mason Moore
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Mason Moore
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