Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Toibocks

The Toibocks, a tidy receptacle for concealing sex toys, is a masterpiece of elegant discretion; it hides your marital aids without drawing attention to itself. Not only that: it rewards the crafty.

"I didn't want to make it gaudy," says Dawn Tulman, inventor of the ingenious device. "It's not a tacky bachelorette gift."

Instead, this sturdy mahogany container presents to the world as an elegant jewelry box. Open it to reveal a cedar-scented velveteen jewelry tray-and nothing else.

"When I was little, I discovered a relative's stash of swinger magazines," Tulman says. "I totally wished I hadn't, since I recognized some of the people in them!"

Now a mother of three, Tulman is open with her own children about what she does, but that doesn't mean she has given up her own right to privacy.

"So I made this box with a particular lock mechanism that wouldn't make a kid or a roommate want to poke around."

I'll admit, Fleshbot Readers, that I was not able to get below the jewelry tray to the secret passage underneath without instructions (included with the Toibocks), and Tulman begs Toibocks owners to not reveal the secret, so I won't.

It will suffice to say that getting to the hidden area is easy once you know the trick.

"It involves science," Tulman adds.

What I like about the Toibocks (and its partner, a smaller tissue dispenser that serves as a secret condom and lube box) is that it doesn't lead the curious to investigate, unlike other hot pink and plastic gadgets that scream "WHAT IS THE ONE THING IN MOM'S BEDROOM THAT INVITES FURTHER SCRUTINY?"

Why did the Hitachi Magic Wand become popular? Ask any sexy toy historian (and that field is becoming disturbingly large) and she will tell you that, for years, the best sex toys were at least marketed as something else.

I ask Tulman why the Toibocks, which could just as easily secret passports, a few stacks of cash, and the family jewels, isn't marketed for that sort of purpose, rather than a Secret Vibrator Repository.

"Because the inspiration was sex toys," Tulman says, "and controlling the time when I tell my children about sex rather than them getting incomplete information.

"But the cedar also covers marijuana smell really well," she admits. "So I suppose you could use it for that, too."

Sadly, I was not able to conceal my Alexis Texas Ass Mold in my Toibocks. But why would anyone want to hide anything that glorious?

· The Toibocks (toibocks.com)