Jesse Jane Dries Pennsylvania’s Tears, Attracts Pennsylvania’s Semen

While Pennsylvania citizens may gripe that yesterday was the last they'll see of Barack and Hillary until their vote is needed again, Jesse Jane will revisit the Keystone State (thus coined in 1802 as "the keystone of the democratic arch") to arch and grind for the residents of Allentown at the folksy Erv's Ladies' and Gentlemens' Club. "Maybe they've taken all the coal from the ground," Jane did not say, "but I'm only interested in the wood." (ervsgirls.com)