More Secrets Of Slutty Suburbanites Revealed In “Babysitter Diaries 5”

We know we just looked at a movie with babysitters in it, but we feel like we're getting closer to discovering the source of their powers. These diaries point to some complicated, pseudo-Freudian quagmire of erotic energies, and... oh, never mind. Dani Jensen looks cute.

We should stop trying to get to the bottom of this babysitter phenomenon because there are probably myriad reasons why people are obsessed with the people who watch their kids and we bet a lot of them are somewhat creepy. So now the question is this: would you rather be stuck with the Digital Playground babysitters or these babysitters?

We know DP is a much bigger, glossier company with some great talent, but we think the scenarios dreamed up by Reality Junkies are pretty fantastic. Dani Jensen's scene, for example, cuts through all of the non-existent kid business and addresses the problem head-on. She shows up at the house to find her charge is Eric Masterson: a grown man! How creepy! Is he into age play? Is there something wrong with him? We don't know how she gets from Point A to Point Sucking His Cock, but she ends up riding him in a rather regal looking bed, making some rather goofy faces in the process.

Christian is dealing with an extreme case of Empty Nest Syndrome, not because his kids are leaving the house, but because they're too old for to require Ash Hollywood's sitting services. He offers to hire her as a plant sitter, or maybe a maid, but Ash sees through his clingy ways and pulls his cock out of his pants. If they must say goodbye to each other, Ash would like to do it with Christian's throbbing dick inside her as he spoons her from behind.

Tasha Reign's scene doesn't deal with the trials of the trade, but she does tackle a classic porn conundrum. Repo men show up at the empty house she's sitting and threaten to take all of the furniture and electronics. Now, what actually happens is that Tasha defends the house with her vagina, but it makes more sense for Tasha to realize that if her employers weren't paying for their lovely furnishings, they would likely neglect to pay for her services. So we're going to say that Tasha gives the repo men free reign of the house, but first requests that one of them fuck her hard in the master bedroom. As the repo man grabs a handful of butt and slides into her pussy, Tasha makes sure to grind her shoes into the bedspread. Nobody messes with Tasha Reign.

Maybe that's the secret of babysitters! They're working women who hang out at your house. That explains the whole maid thing, too. Anyway, we're getting off topic; "Babysitter Diaries 5" is in stores now.

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