A Story For The Ages: Diabolic’s “Top Shelf”

Since we just decided that it's No-Frills Tuesday here at Fleshbot, let's start out with the basics: Diabolic's new "Top Shelf" stars Amy Reid, Courtney Cummz, Jenna Haze, Sarah Vandella, Brianna Love, Audrey Bitoni and Shawna Lenee. It was directed by Sid Knox. It's the company's first Blu-Ray release.

Now let's go back and read that cast to you again: Amy Reid, Courtney Cummz, Jenna Haze, Sarah Vandella, Brianna Love, Audrey Bitoni and Shawna Lenee. Other porn companies, take note: if you plan on going through the trouble of making high definition smut, they better have a cast this worthy of the medium.

There's not much else to say about "Top Shelf" since Diabolic is known more for sex and not so much for storyline. But we do realize that there are some viewers who hanker for a bit of narrative structure to give their nut that extra oomph. Not to worry, we've come up with something for you. Try this one:

Amy Reid and her band of resistance fighters battle a team of demonically possessed Monagesque fascists intent on world domination and save us all ... by fucking them into submission!

Or how about this one?

Jenna Haze heads up a band of expertly trained ninja sex assassins, who are airlifted into deepest Ouagadougou under cover of night to negotiate the release of hostages taken by a cadré of rogue Blackwater operatives-gone-terrorist mercenaries ... by fucking them into submission!

Okay, we tried. Feel free to do better in the comments. (But look at the preview gallery first; you won't want to miss any of the finer potential plot points.)

· Order: "Top Shelf" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Diabolic Video (diabolicvideo.com)