“Girls Having Orgasms” But Also Girls Giving Orgasms

And yet, it's also about the orgasms that you could be having. How do you feel about all of this focus on orgasms? We're here for you. We want to sit down and discuss this with you. It's real talk time.

You know, sex isn't all about orgasms. We're concerned that this movie is telling people to have tunnel vision, to only focus on the product and ignore the joys of the process. So before anything, let's get one thing straight: sex is about lots of things, but this is porn. This porn, specifically, is about people coming hard and often, over and over, on everything and everyone, on camera, all the time, everyday, until the end of days.

We defy you to count the number of orgasms that rock Ashlynn Leigh's body; you cannot do so because there are so many of them. She has Mike Adriano's cock in her ass, a magic wand buzzing against her clit, and stylish pink glasses on her face. Ashlynn is complete in so many ways, but she isn't 100% until she gets Mike to jizz on her specs, tongue, and tits, thus giving her the satisfaction that can only come from a job well done.

Some people have criticized Katie Jordan for being too single-minded in her scenes, becoming somewhat of an orgasm hog at times, but we think the critics are just jealous. Katie goes into a lizard brain mode of pleasure-seeking mania, only knowing that long object + hole = goodness. Look at her try to fit a vibrator in her mouth along with Mike's dick: there's no way she can comfortably fit the two, and she might even be damaging her bottom teeth with the toy, but she doesn't give a damn! Most people live by "Go Big or Go Home"; Katie is all about "Go Big and then stick a vibrator in there, too."

It wouldn't be a Mike Adriano movie without lots and lots of oil, but in this film, the slippery stuff also illustrates something important about orgasms. Take Stevie Shae's scene, for example. Mike pours so much oil on the two of them that their naughty parts look like blown glass, and this allows them to fuck and come with great speed and power, but then Stevie's orgasms ends and they switch positions. Even when she uses an evil-looking vibrator to draw her climax out longer, she can only keep it for so long. It's a sad revelation, really: Stevie smiles and glistens, but all her joy and jizz is fleeting.

So what did we learn today? You can't have orgasms; you can only experience them and then they leave. However, you can have "Girls Having Orgasms" because it's in stores now.

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