Porn For Straight Girls: All Work Is Also All Play

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"Unemployment Benefits," from Bluebird Films, seemed appropriate, given the recent debt crisis and the ongoing complete collapse of, you know, everything. Let's focus on the positive side of things! There is still porn, and it is good.

The premise of this film is that director Marc Twain stakes out the local unemployment offices to offer hot women exiting the building the chance to do some "modeling." The scenes vary in the believability of the women's reactions to this offer, but since they're all professional performers, it's pretty clearly all fantasy. Which is good, because the men are usually a little deceptive and manipulative (the pitch generally starts out as "modeling" and progresses to "Hey, will you suck my dick?") and that would be freaky if it were at all real.

Gram did a great breakdown of some of the concerns (really, unprotected sex with a woman you met in an unemployment line?) and surprising accuracies of the movie's premise in his review. As far as the performances go, Romana Ryder tries to pull the whole coy, "What's going on?" bit, but it just makes her seem dim. And the willingness and expertise with which she deepthroats, immediately, really undermines her acting. Plus, she wears a ruffled turquoise skin-tight top to unemployment, and she's British. So yeah, uh, no. But she's into the guy who just coerced her into porn licking her pussy!

My favorite scene came after Romana, and featured Isis Taylor. Isis #1 (there are two in the movie) wore a hoodie to unemployment (yes), texted while the cameraman was talking to her (yes) and asked the guy whose dick she started sucking if he felt weird having the camera follow his every move. Yes! Though she eventually went into the yelling and dirty-talking of a seasoned star, Isis #1 was a decent actresses until penetration occurred. And she's hot, and she looked like she was really enjoying this turn of events. (By the way, I have a hard time recognizing the men in this, and IAFD was down. Sorry!)

Sindee Jennings says, at 5'2'', she has never gotten traditional modeling work. Smart girl, Sindee! No way is this guy being forthcoming with you. Luckily for him, she's open to having sex on camera when he asks. Of course, she's also sure to ask how much money she'll be making immediately from this. Sindee's scene is a little rougher, which works really well with her baby voice and teeny floral underwear. Oh, and her obvious delight in playing innocent while being very not innocent.

There is a brief interlude before Anthony Rosano picks up Madison Parker where a girl flat-out rejects him for being "creepy." This is very realistic. Equally realistic is Madison saying, "So this is porno?" "We call it adult," Anthony stutters. "But...it's porno," Madison deadpans. Anthony Rosano is looking super-hot, although his bangs are a little Prince Valiant in this movie. He's always fun to watch, and adorably enthusiastic about the women he's fucking. Unfortunately, he doesn't whip out the Spanish guitar skills in this one.

Isis Love, or Isis #2, actually has a library job, but she goes along with the guys anyway, despite the fact that they're not trying to apply for library cards. Her insistence that she can help them apply for cards is freaking adorable. Even though they know this is a porno, they seem bemused at her enthusiasm about her fake job. They promise to sign up for library cards if she comes to the studio. I giggled a lot about this set-up. Isis is a little freaked out by the porn thing once she gets to the set, and she slams Danny Mountain down when he says he likes librarians because they don't talk. "We talk a lot, actually," she snaps. Isis #2 is offended that they didn't just come out and tell her it was going to be porn, but she's down for the sex if she's getting paid. She simply doesn't want to be treated like she's stupid. I was so into this whole exchange. The sex was even better because she was so righteous and awesome before hand.

Overall, the premise of this movie is absurd, but the sex is pretty great, and there are some super-hot boys! Plus, I thought the idea was creative, if a little ridiculous. I mean, obviously there's no way that porn, especially condomless porn, is going to be shot with people off the street. But this is worth it if just for both Isis Taylor and Isis Love, who are sarcastic and annoyed and excellent before the sex even occurs.

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