We Highly Doubt This Is “Her First MILF”

It's no fun living life in a constant state of suspicion, thinking porn companies are lying to us about the number of cougars a certain kitten has slept with, but when we notice some thorough MILF-side manner, we have to call shenanigans.

We know there are people standing by on set to show young women the proper way to approach a MILF, but you can't teach the little things! For example, how does Ally know to keep her toes pointed while Stacy Silver eats her out? You could counter with something like, "Oh, the cunnilingus is so good that Ally's leg begins to spasm so she pulls her muscles tight," but that ignores the fact that real hardcore cougars like Stacy want to see their petite galpals show off some subtle ballet skills. Yes, there is a "Black Swan" vibe going on here.

Or how about the relationship between the young Leony April and her so-called mentor Vanessa Hell? Doghouse Digital wants you to believe that these two have never worked together before, and that Leony has zero previous experience with any mature madame, but again: shenanigans. Leony has a thing for the French Maid archetype, and Vanessa just happens to show up in full regalia, sans panties. And that clever way that Leony pops the dildo in and out of Vanessa's pussy with her mouth wasn't improvised on the spot. You might claim that Ms. April practiced that move with her friends—and that's a good argument—but there's no way that Leony could miraculously know Vanessa's special spot is slightly to the left. Boom: evidence of a prior relationship.

The only girl who looks truly inexperienced in the ways of the well-aged woman is Promesita. She wants Walleria to hurry up and stick the tie-dyed vibrator in her pussy, and she has her "Hello?" face on as she spreads her cheeks apart, but Walleria refuses to be rushed. The MILF knows that the best orgasms come from a slow, steady-pace with ample teasing, and she plans to teach the arrogant Promesita a thing or two about how to lick pussy as well. They get off to a rocky start, but we're sure these two will become the best of friends, and Promesita and Walleria will be remembered alongside the other romantically-linked couples with strange names, like Tristan and Isolde, Troilus and Cressida, or Gargantua and Pantagruel (maybe not that last one).

Let's face it, this is the adult industry, not the truth industry. If Doghouse wants to call this "Her First MILF 12" they can go ahead and do that, but only because the Keeping It Real option would force them to rename this series something like "They've Done This Before and They'll Do It Again with Sex Toys" which is pretty unappealing.

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Leony April and Vanessa Hell
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Leony April and Vanessa Hell
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Leony April and Vanessa Hell
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Ally and Stacy Silver
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Ally and Stacy Silver
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Ally and Stacy Silver
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Ally and Stacy Silver
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Ally and Stacy Silver
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Lara Schwartz and Cameron Ferrera
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Lara Schwartz and Cameron Ferrera
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Buy "Her First MILF 12" (adultdvdempire.com)
Lara Schwartz and Cameron Ferrera
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Buy "Her First MILF 12" (adultdvdempire.com)
Lara Schwartz and Cameron Ferrera
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Promesita and Walleria
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Promesita and Walleria
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Promesita and Walleria
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Promesita and Walleria
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Winnie and Kari
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
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Winnie and Kari
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Buy "Her First MILF 12" (adultdvdempire.com)
Winnie and Kari
Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Buy "Her First MILF 12" (adultdvdempire.com)