“DP Invasion” Storms Both Beaches At The Same Time

The Battle of Normandy was awesome, but today's youth simply can't revel in that distant glory. Fortunately, New Sensations has given us a sensitive, synchronized operation we can be proud of. Goodbye, D-Day; hello, DP-Day.

Normandy is a bit touristy this time of year, and we don't think we have the budget to transport the adult industry out there for a shoot, so we'll just have to settle with the double penetrating of one of our favorite French pornstars, Eliska Cross. Good substitute, right? We've seen Eliska take on two turgid dicks before (thanks to Explicite), so she looks right at home with all manners of anal, DP, and spit roasting. She can even smile with a cock in her mouth, stretching and pushing against the inside of her cheek. How does she do that? (Hint: it's in her eyes.)

We're not saying that Honey Demon is the kind of girl you need to storm because she's controlled by evil forces, but her name is Honey Demon. In some sense, you can think of Choky Ice and David Perry as exorcists, purging evil spirits by filling up Honey's holes with their love. Choky keeps his shirt on the whole time, but we suppose we can't blame him for wanting to show off with some shiny, golden detailing—after all, he and David are going down as the second team to doubly penetrate Honey. They're just like Pete Conrad and Alan Bean!

Valery Summer decides to get a check-up before having her beaches stormed, and her doctor is so enthusiastic about her beaches that he decides to launch an amphibious assault of his very own! He calls in another doctor some guy in a white shirt who got by security because he was wearing the same basic color scheme as a doctor to help with the examination, but Valery feels like sucking them off halfway through the examination. They leave the speculum in her for some reason; Valery seems cool with it. Anyway, her clean bill of booty health prompts our non-doctor to hop on the examination table so that the official doctor may have her from behind. Actually, we're not sure how legit this OB/GYN is; the only thing on his wall is a chart of the vascular system and we think there's a coffee grinder in the background.

But it's whatever to us. That just means our glorious DP-Day is good for your heart and it gives you the energy to get past that dreary 2PM feeling! Way to go, "DP Invasion"!

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