Aletta Ocean Finally Admits, “I Eat Pussy”

Thank goodness, too; we were getting tired of going along with Aletta's whole "I'm studying in my room with Zafira" routine because, frankly, Aletta has bad grades. Also, she has sleepovers with Zafira every night and she can never find her underwear. "I Eat Pussy." Fantastic.

Although we think Aletta may be taking her newfound freedom a little too... freely. We found her eating Zafira's pussy on the kitchen island—not because we walked in on them, but because Zafira was moaning loudly and thrashing her legs around so we heard it from the other room. Again, we're cool with Zafira and Aletta expressing their feelings with a spontaneous cunnilingus session, but then Zafira left the kitchen, got her vibrator, and came back to make Aletta come. Why didn't they both go upstairs? Remember, Aletta: saying "I Eat Pussy" doesn't mean "I Eat Pussy With Disregard For Where People Make Dinner" (although that would be an excellent movie title).

We should be happy that Aletta and Zafira are only eating pussy around the house, because we hear that her friends, Sophie Moone and Bettina Di Capri, are eating pussy on the job! They're both triage nurses who requested to wear candy striper outfits while they work, which—although odd—is totally allowed by the hospital. But the administrators couldn't have known that the skimpy outfits and adorable hats would lead Sophie and Bettina to take over the OR with a clit-lick-a-thon. When the doctors came in and found Sophie knuckle-deep in Bettina, they claimed they were learning to take each other's temperatures. You know what they should've said? Yeah, you know what they should've said.

Even if they weren't technically eating pussy, it's still a good phrase to use when you get caught with a lady friend. Amabella and Zorah White did nothing but play with dildos and rim each other, but they still declared their love of pussy eating. Why? Because there's something about "I Eat Ass" that doesn't have as nice a ring to it. Maybe it's all the vowels. Or the word "ass." Some terms are simply more embarrassing than others!

But it's cool, ladies. You don't ever have to feel embarrassed or nervous around us; all you have to do is say, "I Eat Pussy," and we'll be there for you.

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Aletta Ocean and Zafira
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Sophie Moone and Abbie Cat
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Sophie Moone and Bettina Di Capri
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Sophie Moone and Bettina Di Capri
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