A Little Of The Old In-N-Out With Belladonna

September 21, 2011
GRAM-PONANTE

Belladonna's "Dick Sauce: Animal Style" pays tribute to two beloved institutions of the American Southwest—In-N-Out Burger and vigorous handjobs—and really makes viewers want to get some of each.

Earthquake-prone East Coasters no longer have any reason to bitch about Los Angeles, especially since 1948, when the first In-N-Out Burger opened in Baldwin Park.

Hidden beneath its basic menu, the 5-state burger chain boasts a voluminous secret menu, including an "Animal Style" selection, featuring extra everything and mustard-cooked meat.

But if you expected Belladonna and Kristina Rose to cook Nat Turnher's schlong in mustard, I guess you'll have to wait for the outtakes.

The production values of "Dick Sauce" are limited to furry animal hoods worn by Belladonna and Rose in a scene with the very pleased Turnher. The trio convenes in an upstairs room and competes with the sound of outside traffic as Rose and Belladonna take turns making Turnher the Luckiest Man Alive.

But Turnher is just a prop for Belladonna's affection for Ms. Rose.

"Look how hard he gets just by kissing you," she says to Rose.

The threeesome spends most of its time on its feet, which gives Turnher the opportunity to grab handfuls of Belladonna and Kristina Rose ass. I can't think of a more natural inclination in the world.

So, even thought the references to the Best Burger in America stop after the subtitle and the animal hats (well, Rose does light a blunt at one point, and I would be lying if blunt-rolling didn't play a part in 60 percent of adult visits to In-N-Out), "Dick Sauce" is so much more satisfying than Jack in the Box.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· In-N-Out (in-n-out.com)
· Buy "Dick Sauce: Animal Style" (tlavideo.com)