Do You Have Enough “Ass Candy” For Halloween?

You're a grown-up, so you're Halloweens are probably all about sex. Sure, you'd love to trick or treat, but eating candy makes you worry about dental bills! Well, thanks to "Ass Candy," you can get totally sugar high and fill some cavities at the same time!

Yes, "Ass Candy"—not to be confused with New Sensations's other butt-based sugary treat, "Anal Candy"—is a sweet little carbon chain of Europorn delights. If you feel like the title sounds familiar, don't worry, it sounds the same to us. Didn't The Rock used to call rival wrestlers "candy-ass jabronis"? We always thought that was oddly sexual. It's nice to see that New Sensations was watching "WWF Smackdown" in the early 2000s and thinking the same exact thing.

Anyway, the strange thing about "Ass Candy" is that people will only consume it in private—partially due to fears that other people will want some, partially because the stuff is so damn tasty that some need to consume it under a cloth, as it is with the Ortolan. Antonio Ross is so protective of his "Ass Candy" that he takes her—Joanne Sweet—out on a boat to the middle of a private lake. There, free from the prying eyes and waterings mouths of others, Antonio takes his time with Joanne's ass, savoring all of the flavors along her perineum, sticking his cock in her only after he's fully embedded her juices on his taste buds. This is how a gourmand eats his "Ass Candy."

Not everyone can afford the boats and private lakes necessary to consume candy in solitude; most people are like Timo Hardy, and have to ravage the candy as soon as they see it. The flirty Nika tells Timo that she is packing "Ass Candy," and as soon as she offers him some, he pulls his pants off and starts frantically kissing his way down her body. He ends up pounding her ass so hard that she falls off the couch, and even then he keeps going! In his mania, he sucks on Nika's toes, but soon discovers that Toe Candy is not really his thing.

Sometimes you have to share "Ass Candy." It's a bummer to most, but there are those who prefer to go-halves on a piece, usually for dietary reasons ("Ass Candy" is not Atkins-approved). Kid Jamaica starts unwrapping Bailey by himself, but as soon as he chomps on her titty, he realizes that he needs some backup. Choky Ice enters stage right, but enters Bailey's ass stage left, and Kid Jamaica can enjoy his blowjob guilt-free. They switch up the spit roast, play with Bailey's nipples while doubly penetrating her, and even though they both indulge their "Ass Candy" craving, each man still has room for dinner.

Sure, all these men run the risk of acquiring type 2 diabetes, but it's a risk worth taking. Besides, it's almost Halloween! And a Halloween without "Ass Candy" might as well be Thanksgiving: the least erotic holiday.

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Bailey, Kid Jamaica, and Choky Ice
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Joanne Sweet and Antonio Ross
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