“Oil Overload 5” Is As Eco-Friendly As It Is Erotic

ExxonMobile, BP, and now Chris Streams. These bastards think they can spill oil everywhere and still make money off it it? How dare they! At least Chris is only guilty of spilling mineral oil, and the only wildlife he's impacted has been a handful of naked pornstars.

Ok, we guess Chris Streams isn't hurting anyone. But still, it's the principle of the thing!

This is Nikki Monroe's first professional porn appearance, and she's already slathered in oil. And why does Mr. Pete feel the need to squeeze a long-distance rope of oil on her ass while she's fucking him? He's not a bartender. We admit that Nikki's gigantic, zeppelin-tits look even more glorious with the light bouncing off her wet, shiny skin, but is it worth it? And who is going to help clean that couch? Not the World Wildlife Fund, that's for sure.

Oh, who are we kidding, we love this oily stuff. In fact, we find ourselves unable to look away from Jada Steven's double penetration scene with Toni Ribas and Erik Everhard; the mass of strong, glistening bodies working together is objectively sublime (in the Kantian sense of the word). Jada starts the scene with a pair of white satin gloves on, and by the end, one of them is so oil-steeped that it's translucent, the other is gone, and what began as a savage spit roasting suddenly becomes an homage to Michael Jackson.

And then there's Priya Rai, a woman whose glorious curves become all the more dangerous when wet. Having sex with an oily Priya is like driving a Ford Pinto on the autobahn: you're going to explode in seconds. Apparently, that's how Erik Everhard likes it, and he somehow lasts long enough to film an entire scene! What's his secret? We suspect it has something to do with smothering himself with Priya's swinging boobs. Even if that isn't his secret, we're taking notes.

Yes, "Oil Overload 5" has much to teach us about making sex slippery, and although director Chris Streams did a wonderful job, he left out the most important part! How do they clean up? Here's hoping that the BTS footage cures our OCD.

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Nikki Monroe
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Amy Ried
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Amy Ried and Toni Ribas
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Amy Ried and Toni Ribas
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Bridgette B.
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Bridgette B.
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Bridgette B. and Mark Ashley
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Jada Stevens
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Jada Stevens
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Jada Stevens, Erik Everhard, and Toni Ribas
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Jada Stevens, Erik Everhard, and Toni Ribas
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Jada Stevens, Erik Everhard, and Toni Ribas
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Jynx Maze
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Jynx Maze
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Jynx Maze and Nacho Vidal
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Jynx Maze and Nacho Vidal
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Jynx Maze and Nacho Vidal
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Priya Rai
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Priya Rai and Erik Everhard
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Priya Rai and Erik Everhard
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