“Spider-Man XXX” Is Slinging Way More Than Webs

When a Con Edison employee gets struck by lightning on top of a transformer pole, he turns into the evil Electro and begins terrorizing New York City! Will Spider-Man be able to stop him, or will random sex distract him (and us) from the plot?

Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody

Studio: Vivid
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Capri Anderson, Tara Lynn Foxx, Brooklyn Lee, Sarah Shevon, Ash Hollywood, Rob Black, Xander Corvus, Dick Delaware

That's always the risk with parody porn: even if the sex is smoking hot, it can pull you too far out of the story and the movie will lose cohesion. "Spider-Man XXX" suffers from a separation of sex and substance, but not always, and usually the berth is narrow.

The first fuck of the film happens when Robbie Robertson (Tyler Knight) asks to talk about a story with one of his co-workers, Betty Brant (Sarah Shevon). They find a quiet hallway and start stripping down, Tyler jams his thumb in Sarah's mouth as he worships her nipples and gets his free hand in her retro undies. Sarah starts breathing fast and demands to be fucked; Tyler gladly obeys, and every slam of his cock sends ripples up Sarah's fleshy backside. It's an incredibly steamy scene! Still, it's a shame that it has no reason to be here. Robbie Robertson isn't the most popular "Spider-Man" character, Betty is even more random, and though I'm happy that Axel kept to the canon of characters for his movie, I don't see why it was necessary to kick off the carnal fun with these two. "Because it's porn and there's no reason why Tyler and Sarah wouldn't be fucking at work," says Logic. Touche, Logic.

Sometimes the boundaries between parody and porn are so blurred that I actually started giggling with joy. One of the best moments is when Electro (Dick Delaware), dressed in his full green costume, is fucking the crap out of a prostitute named Tara Lynn Foxx. This scene comes out of nowhere, and for a moment, I was really upset that Braun would randomly drop this in the middle of the story without any explanation. This is another ridiculously sexy scene, but there's also something sinister at work, something in the music that keeps me on edge every time I watch it. Tara and Dick keep pushing each other to fuck harder and faster, and she gets him to the edge of orgasm by fingering her ass as she puts her back into some serious cowgirl (the sound of her thighs on his spandex is haunting). Finally, he's ready to pop, and he starts jerking off above her pussy:

Dick: Are you ready for this?
Tara: Yes!

He makes the normal male grunts and then BLAM! lightning flies out of his cock and dances all over Tara's stomach, frying her on the spot.

Dick: I knew you weren't ready.

YES! Perfect. This is proof that Axel Braun gets it: superhero parody porn should always feature sex with superpowers.

The only moment better than that comes after Spider-Man (Xander Corvus) saves Mary Jane (Capri Anderson) from a group of rapist thugs in an alleyway. They do the upside-down kiss, Spidey bounces, and then he comes down his web again to get an upside-down blowjob. Some people might call this moment obvious, but we don't care; it's majestic. Capri sucks with all her might, takes a huge load on her chin, and Spidey disappears again. Props to Xander Corvus for keeping his blood in his dick while most of it was rushing to his head! More importantly, props to Axel Braun for scratching the upside-down itch we've had since 2002.

Spider-Man doesn't get much action in this movie, but he makes his few sex scenes count. After he's dispatched Electro, Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee) shows up to ask him a favor/set up for a sequel, and she convinces him by fucking his brains out. Brooklyn's acting skills leave something to be desired (stilted dialogue, spaced-out glaze in her eyes), but she works her ass so excellently that Xander pops after barely two minutes of doggy style. He climbs right back on of course, even getting a little anal action, and it's clear that Brooklyn completely own this man's cock. Does the sex tie in well with the plot? Sort of. Do I care? Not in the least! Two-pop scenes are too fun to dismiss.

The storyline isn't the most compelling in parody porn history, but frankly, the "Spider-Man" movies weren't all that well-written either. If nothing else, the special effects look fantastic—there's no shortage of web shooting, swinging, and acrobatic fighting—and we salute Braun for managing to capture a dark moody cityscape that's just bright enough to display some costumed genitals.

I should note that in behind-the-scenes footage, Braun claims that he had extra fun with "Spider-Man XXX" because he wasn't sticking to source material, and he got to create his own look and feel. If you ask me, this looks like a combination of the recent "Spider-Man" films with a bit of the video game thrown in. Plot-wise, sure, it has its own brand of conflict that draws from specific canonical relationships, but anyone who watches this will see Sam Raimi's influence at work.

For the record, I think I'd rather watch this than any of Raimi's movies. I feel extremely happy for Vivid and Axel Braun; they've struck a sweet spot with this one. "Spider-Man XXX" is not too serious, not too silly, and unabashedly sexy.

· Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
· Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)

Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, and Seth Gamble
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, and Seth Gamble
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, and Seth Gamble
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, and Seth Gamble
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, and Seth Gamble
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, and Seth Gamble
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Tara Lynn Foxx and Dick Delaware
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Tara Lynn Foxx and Dick Delaware
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Tara Lynn Foxx and Dick Delaware
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Tara Lynn Foxx and Dick Delaware
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Tara Lynn Foxx and Dick Delaware
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Sarah Shevon and Tyler Knight
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Sarah Shevon and Tyler Knight
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Sarah Shevon and Tyler Knight
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Sarah Shevon and Tyler Knight
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Sarah Shevon and Tyler Knight
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)
Sarah Shevon and Tyler Knight
Vivid Entertainment (vivid.com)
Buy "Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody" (store.fleshbot.com)