Lily Love Majored In “Asshole Physics” With A Concentration In Pun-Crafting

It's a good thing it's not the other way around, otherwise we'd have an extremely clever title for a movie in which anal sex sort of happens (if you sound it out really slowly and pay attention to the vowels).

Fortunately, we're looking at one of the world's leading asshole physicists, and since the world isn't ready to work on a butt-powered cold fusion reactor, Lily is bringing her anal expertise to the people, backed by a panel of her pornographic peers.

This gauntlet of anal academia begins with Aletta Ocean opening up her ass for Choky Ice. Choky is drawn to Aletta for the same reasons we all love her: her top matches the throw pillows on her couch. Of course, she's not just a pornographic fashion icon, she's a force of natural with fake boobs, huge lips, and the ability to casually toss her legs wherever they need to be in order to facilitate the easiest and deepest anal penetration. Aletta has the knowledge to get all the psi (that's pound-force per square inch) she wants out of Choky's cock, and she's not afraid to use it.

Also on the schedule: Kathia Nobili will be presenting the results of her most recent experiment involving her asshole, Nick Lang, a yacht, and a bottle of white wine. She's discovered that when she's relaxing in the sun, slightly tipsy, and soaking up the Mediterranean heat, her asshole has an easier time handling Nick's girthy dick. Whether she's on her tippy-toes riding reverse cowgirl or taking it in doggy style, Kathia can handle every inch of Nick. Unfortunately, she forgot to include a control in her experiment; she argues that she was too bored of having anal sex on dry land, in a room, with no wine.

All of this anal theory is nice, but how does it work in practice? For that, we turn to Miky Gold, an award-winning physicist turned personal ass tutor. She takes men, like David Perry, who only have a slight inkling about how to manipulate the female backside and she gives them the tools and tricks to slip their tremendous shlongs wherever they are welcome. Miky tells David how to strengthen his calves for long leapfrog sessions, the secret to keeping reverse cowgirl anal perpetually lubricated (panties pulled aside, clit rubbed steadily), and even how to glaze a booty with jizz! She might get rough with him at times, demanding that he wrench her arm back while savagely squeezing her buttcheeks, but it's all tough love.

"Asshole Physics" isn't all paper publishing, winning science prizes, and researching lube. It's about going beyond the limits of human experience, exploring the netherest of nether regions, and bringing civilization to the forefront of ass tapping technology.

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Aletta Ocean and Choky Ice
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