The Case For Calm, Precise Sex

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Yeah, wild and reckless banging is lots of fun, but that was really the sexual style of the '90s. We're in the middle of a recession right now, and our screwing methods should reflect that. Get with the program, kids: bang it slowly.

If you feel the need to spice things up in the bedroom, try getting a torso full of tattoos! It will give you a whiff of Yakuza badassery and your sexual partner something to look at. And hey, if you get bored, just be glad that we're not rationing supplies for war, otherwise there'd be a lot less latex to go around!

· "Autoreiji" (imdb.com)
· Via Nudography (nudography.com)