When Life Hands You “Big Sexy Titties,” Don’t Make Tittyade

In fact, life never hands you "Big Sexy Titties." Women like Alanah Rae and Katie Kox hand them to you and then... Well, what do you do with them?

Don't panic, that's the first thing you do. Take a breath and assess the situation. Who is attached to these titties?

If it's Katie Kox, beware: her nipples are pierced and she's so eager to put her titties on you that she might not even take her clothing off before it begins. When Rocco Reed runs into her, she forces him down to the ground (politely) and wraps her knockers around his cock, just to delight in the feeling of fullness between her boobs. Banging Katie is missionary is always a delight, but as mesmerizing as it is to watch her breasts shake with every pump, Rocco has to make sure he doesn't hump too hard; the recoil on them boobs can fly back and hit Katie in the mouth! Yes, BSTs are even dangerous to their owners.

If Alanah Rae shows up, you're in luck, because she knows how to keep her mammaries from maiming those around her. Charles Dera demonstrates that you can watch her titties shake just by banging her from behind or throatfucking her, and if Alanah wants to climb aboard his rod, she knows to torque her torso and reduce the chance of knocking Charles out. Yes, it is possible. The guy risks losing a tooth or two just by chowing down on those delicious nipples of hers!

Experts agree that the best way to enjoy "Big Sexy Titties" is with the help of a friend. Two (currently faceless) gentlemen use this tactic to take on Candy Alexa: they restrain the swing of her funbags with a pulled-down top and they approach her from either side. That way, they can play with her clit, spitroast her, pound her asshole, and even juggle her jugs without any risk of injury. Sure, it takes a lot of planning and coordination, but safety is everything.

So maybe you're not ready to handle "Big Sexy Titties" just yet; that's totally fine. They take some getting used to! For now, study this accurately-titled piece of pornography and practice making small talk with a couple of Butterball turkeys at the grocery store.

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