An Interview With The Pot Dealer To The (Porn)Stars

People often think that pornstars do lots and lots of hard drugs. To be honest, I saw way more cocaine, pills, and even heroin around my college campus than I've ever seen in porn. However, there is one drug that's pretty rampant among girls in the industry—if you can even call it a drug anymore. Yes, we're talking marijuana.

I don't smoke weed. However, I happen to be pretty close friends with the porno weed dealer. She's a drug dealer by night and a makeup artist by day, and, uh, sells the best nugs in town. I can tell the quality just by getting a whiff of the potent odor that fills the room when someone even has a bag of her shit in their Louis Vuitton purse. In the interests of journalism, I took a few minutes to ask her a little bit about her operation.

For obvious reasons, I will refer to her here as "porno weed dealer," and not by her real name.

Joanna: So how exactly did you become a drug dealer for the stars?

Porno Weed Dealer: I started out by just doing make up in the industry, and having big boobs. One would think the natural progression would have been to start doing scenes. But I've always been an avid pot smoker, and saw a lack of good weed in the business, so this seemed like a good logical step.

What do you sell?

I sell high quality, homegrown, organic marijuana.

How many different strands of weed do you usually have growing at once?

Anywhere from 2 to 9. Right now I have 9. I'm always expanding!

Isn't all weed just weed ? What's the difference between all the different shit?

The difference between weed is like the difference between wine. Different flavors and aromas give you a different high.

What kind of weed do pornstars prefer?

A certain one called "Blue Dream."

That sounds like a perfume!! Do you know why they prefer that one?

It actually makes you horny. Or hornier if you're always horny. It looks and smells sexy too. I guess it is kinda like a perfume.

Do you sell edibles ? If so do you make lower fat ones for pornstars?

Yes, I make and sell edibles. No low fat but I do bake organic. Once you taste my red velvet cupcakes, fat don't matter.

How much weed does your average porn star buy a week?

Average porn star buys a quarter a week. I like when they buy an ounce though. Obviously, I think everyone should smoke more weed.

Did anyone ever try to skip out on paying you by offering to eat your pussy? Because that happens in pornos all the time.

No one has ever skipped out on paying me. My pimp hand is pretty strong! I don't work on credit, and I don't give discounts to my friends. I keep my pimp hand strong!

Why would a porn star go to you instead of a medical dispensary, which are basically on every corner in LA?

People come to me because they know I grow with love, no pesticides, and it's all organic. And I grow the bomb shit. Dispensaries kinda suck, unless you like paying $60 for a shitty eighth.

Are you bringing a whole bunch to sell at AVN?

No, that's not a good idea. There are way different laws in Nevada about marijuana and I ain't gonna risk anything. I'm just gonna get drunk and do makeup.

Sounds like a plan.

[This post is a part of Fleshbot's Joanna Angel Week. Thumbnail courtesy of Barely Evil.]