In The Food For Fucking: Joanna Angel’s Top Five Edible Aphrodisiacs

So I'm in Vegas now for the weekend, and as we all know, people come to Vegas to do lots of awesome—and sometimes crazy—things. They gamble, they drink, they fist-pump at clubs, they get married to people they just had a one-night stand with, they stalk the Kardashians (who seem to always be here)...and...well, you know...they do all the stuff that properly fits under that category of "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!"

But there's something a lot of us do in Vegas that doesn't have to stay here: eating! Vegas has a lot of really nice restaurants...and when you're here fucking and partying all the time, sometimes you need a break for a really tasteful plate of food. Unfortunately though, meals can make your body feel full and not so hungry for humping anymore. And that just sucks for everyone. Vegas cannot have a reputation for food comas! That's just unacceptable. But luckily, there are these foods called aphrodisiacs that: 1. taste delicious, 2. aren't too heavy and—most importantly—3. will keep you in the mood for anal sex all night long! Here are my top 5 favorite edible aphrodisiacs:

5. Basil: Ok, so basil is really more of a garnish and less of a meal...but it's something you can get in an appetizer salad to start the meal off with a DTF vibe. It will tease your senses all night long across the table from each other! This green comes with a warning, though: along with stimulating your sex drive, basil is also said to stimulate fertility...so ummm, be careful! Unless you came to Vegas with the goal of getting knocked up, proceed with caution.

4. Ginger: Ginger is something you can ingest before you even eat, and you will continue to reap its benefits way after you've left the restaurant! Order a pre-dinner cocktail with some ginger in it, and not only will it taste delicious, but it will help you digest your meal...making you feel healthy and fit and light enough to get tossed around in the bedroom (even if it's not true...you will feel that way!). Bonus: ginger root tends to dominate the sinuses, so if your date smells, you won't even notice.

3. Oysters: Ok, this one was pretty obvious. And I could make a billion pussy jokes. But I am not going to. Well, maybe not directly. I will just say that watching anyone slurp an oyster out of its shell is enough teasing to get anyone ready for a quickie in the restaurant bathroom. If you have never seen this non-kosher phenomena, look up some online videos...key words: "oyster slurping". Right now.

2. Truffle oil: I'm not sure how many of you know this, but I love French food! I love French cheese, I love French wine, and I love something the French hold in the highest regard: truffles! (That's truffles, as in the mushroom-like fungi that hogs discover in the woods with their noses, not truffles, as in chocolate treats. Just to clear this up.) The musky scent of truffle oil is said to stimulate the skin's sensitivity to touch...so make sure you are fingering your girlfriend under the table while she feasts on her truffle-oiled food. When you're back in your room, she'll be squealing like the pig that sniffed it out!

1. Wine: I know it's not a food, but you consume it with your meal all night long, so it just wouldn't be fair to discount it. And also, I love wine. So there. Nothing relaxes the body—nothing legal, anyway—like fermented grapes. It'll make you and your date feel relaxed, sensual and ready to touch each other all over the place. But make sure you don't drink too much...there's a fine line between sexy and sensual and...well...just drowsy and drunk!

[This post is a part of Fleshbot's Joanna Angel Week.]