Baby, We Wanna Marry Your Haunches

It's not just because we think the sex will be great, it's because if we're attacked by bears on our honeymoon, one kick from your glorious and gorgeous legs will send those terrible teddies flying. And the post-bear-kicking sex will be phenomenal.

On the one hand, we wish the gentleman beneath her would do more than he is--she clearly deserves to get it as good as she gives. On the other hand, how can you compete with her? What if his rhythm isn't synched up with hers? Everything would be ruined! That's why it's best to lie there and take it, and let the pros handle the humping.

· Bow-Legged Bitch Hops On A Dick (pornhub.com)