(Un)Sexy Stories From AEE

When people think of Vegas they think of, at least, debauchery and, at most, a modern Sodom on top of a modern Gomorrah. Add the annual AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, and you have a combination that many think raises the decadence level to Caligula marrying Nero.

How could it not be anything but a decadent orgy or excess? With those many porn stars around, parties and free-flowing alcoholic libations, wouldn't you be driven into a maenad-like frenzy?

The truth, like so many other things in life, is much more disappointing. For most performers, AEE means long days and longer nights. If you're really lucky, you'll avoid getting sick and coming down with the dreaded "Vegas cough."

That's right. Not getting sick is something to look forward to.

Granted, every year there's some rumor floating around about someone overdosing in their hotel room. And while sometimes these stories turn out to be true, I am impressed that anyone has anytime to do anything personal, drug use included.

You wake up at six in the morning because you have a breakfast meeting with the production company's talent handler. This meeting is mandatory and you have to be there — when you'll be signing, any press that's stopping by, parties you must attend that night are all discussed while you're still probably half-asleep.

If you're with a larger company, there'll be a make-up artist to put your face together. But there's usually just one and for the few companies still bring girls to sign, anywhere from one to five girls could be in front of you.

The show floor opens at nine. While it used to be that a girl's popularity didn't matter because everyone wound up getting picked up to sign at AEE, this is no longer true. Companies are only taking girls with fans. The upside is that you feel loved. People wrap around the booth and wait their turn for an autograph and picture. The downside is that you're signing those photos for hours on end. Your arm goes numb, then it hurts.

If you had to do it any longer, you'd gnaw it off at the shoulder.

Lunch comes in a plastic clamshell and is always ultimately unfulfilling. You eat in plain view of everyone in the show. If you're lucky enough to break out and go to someplace else, well, people still might come up to you for a picture or an autograph while you're eating.

Night comes. You're exhausted. But your day is far from over. You have parties to go to — parties that you need to attend to network at and other parties that you need to attend because that's part of the deal with the company you're signing for. As much as people like parties, let's face it: if you've been to one Vegas party, you've been to them all.

There's always a problem getting in, and once you're in, it'd too loud to do any real business. As the night goes on, people get drunk, then inappropriate very quickly.

If you're lucky, you're back in your bed in the early a.m. If not, you're lucky if you get two hours of sleep.
This is the reality of the AEE for those of us who work at the show. Like sausage and politics, the story behind the scenes isn't very pretty.

This post is a part of Fleshbot's Bobbi Starr Week. Photo by Jeff Koga.