“No Cum Dodging Allowed 12” Is More Like “No Cum Dodging Attempted”

We like facials, but we'd pay good money to watch a movie in which Katie St. Ives turns on the bullet time and barrel rolls away from the fat ropes of jizz that are flying through the air towards her face. Anyway, that's not this movie. This is about women who face their facials with bravery, and we are about to conscientiously objectify them.

These are the Marines of mouth magic, first on the set and the last to leave. When there's a cock that ready to burst, they're prepared to receive it's milky explosion. When you say "Jump," they say, "Jump? Why would I jump? Get out of here, this is a blowbang." They're professionals, is what we're getting at.

You might be wondering why Katie St. Ives takes the fewest number of loads in her mouth (three loads) when she's perhaps the most experienced member of this Non-Cum Dodging team. Remember that it's not the quantity of the loads that matter, but the quality of the cocks that deliver them. If you were going to watch Katie St. Ives get jizzed upon by forty dudes with so-so wangs, you'd be bored to tears. The way it stands, Katie has three huge, stiff, throbbing dicks to play with, and she takes her playtime very seriously. All the girls in this movie get a blowbang, but Katie actually bothers to bang her group of boys; she gets fucked good in this fearsome foursome, and only when she's truly ready does she elect to take the ejaculate.

Jennifer White takes four loads to the dome--a respectable number. Many women would melt under the pressure, but not Jennifer. Her only anxiety in life is that she doesn't have a third hand with which to jerk off the final cock. How does Jennifer warm-up for this drenching? With a bout of anal pounding from Erik Everhard! How does she get ready for that? She wrestles a bear.

Lexi Swallow is perhaps the freshest face in this roster, but she blows away the more seasoned sluts on the team by taking six loads of jizz! Six! We only see three cocks in the her photos, but maybe there's a second team that comes in to finish the other half. Or maybe she draws two rounds of come from each man. We wouldn't be surprised if she used her superior sucking powers to draw out additional jizz from each gent's genitals--look at the cheek power on that face! Lexi, you have officially shed your rookie status; you are now a certified corporal of cock wrangling. Cum-gratulations.

We don't know much about the legislative branch of our government, but we're glad that they've been able to keep this "No Cum Dodging Allowed" rule going strong for twelve solid films. If there's one thing our Congress will always be remembered for, it's their dedication to making sure girls get drenched with baby batter.

· Jules Jordan (julesjordan.com)
· Buy "No Cum Dodging Allowed 12" (store.fleshbot.com)