That Blue Hair Ain’t Distracting Us From Your Boobs, Katy Perry

Nice try, though, and it's a very lovely dye job, and we're honestly quite impressed by how well it works with the black dress, but there we go already, talking about the dress that frames your side- and underboob. We totally weren't ready to talk about it yet. Alas! These things seem to escape us. (Like how your boobs seem to escape you, Ms. Perry.)

Now, if you had blue hair like Marge Simpson, then maybe our eyes would be lifted up and away from the window of boobage. Or do you want us to pay attention to your chest? We can never tell, Katy Perry. Your boobs are out there, but they're not out there, and we don't know whether to beg for more or to sit here and count the stitches that keep us from the full force of your glory. God, this is just like puberty.