Naked G.I. Joe Babes: Knowing Is Half The Battle

Since "Transformers" was such a cinematic tour de force certain to win upwards of 15 or 16 Academy Awards for awesomeness, it's only natural that Hollywood would take more of our precious childhood memories and exploit them: we just learned that G.I. Joe, he of the tribe of little plastic guys we used to bury in the sandbox and catapult across the driveway with firecrackers, is being turned into a live action movie. If that didn't make us sad psyched enough, imagine our glee at finding out that the evil temptress, The Baroness, is being played by the nippletastic Sienna Miller.

It may seem like an odd casting choice, but given Sienna's recent track record and the fact that Baroness was responsible for some of our first pre-adolescent "funny feelings," there's a pretty solid chance that this PG adventure could become a R-rated skinflick. Inspired by this news, we decided to seek out what we assumed would be a wealth of G.I. Joe babe fan art and hardcore fantasy fiction, except ... there isn't any. We know the mythology is a little dude heavy, but you're going to tell us that no one on the web has ever thought to dramatize a Scarlett-on-Snake Eyes-on-Destro threeway? Yet, outside of those silly "remixes" and this study of Joe's anatomically incorrect behind, there ain't much there.

We'll still share what little we found, but come on, folks! We'd expect this lack of ambition from fans of M.A.S.K. but not the Real American Hero! We just hope that this outtake of Flint and Lady Jaye double-teaming Baroness in a pool of butterscotch pudding doesn't end up on the cutting room floor.

· Flint and Baroness (YouTube)

· The Women of G.I. Joe Naked! (shesocrazy.com)

· Baroness Doing Cobra Commander's Laundry (myconfinedspace.com)

· G.I.J.O.E.????? (alistairbooya.blogspot.com)

· GI Joe? No! GI T.S.O.! (3-116thsniper.blogspot.com)