Carly Craig Has Nice Undies, A Sweet Pad, And Can Orgasm Like Judy Garland

What more do you want in a girlfriend? We're not saying you have a chance with Carly Craig any time soon (although we could be wrong); all we're saying is that Carly is a good rubrik by which to judge potential love interests in the future. Fact: you should only date people who can orgasm like Judy Garland.

Of course, she has many other interesting qualities as well! She's gorgeous, she wears thongs around the house, she's a comedian, and she even works with kids! Well, sort of. According to Carly's interview with Esquire, she was supposed to speak at her niece's school about following your dreams and stuff like that, but then the teachers Googled her and "Judy Garland Orgasm" came up. That was the end of that.

· See more photos at Esquire (esquire.com)