Porn For Straight Girls: Inari Vachs Is Mommy Dearest In “My Girlfriend’s Mother”

Nica Noelle's Noelle's "My Girlfriend's Mother, Vol. 3" surprised and delighted me with copious amounts of hot sex and a rather staggering number of female orgasms.

The intro to this movie boasts "Real lovemaking" and "Real orgasms," so I wasn't sure what I was in for. As a female porn consumer, I have some stereotypical ideas about what constitutes porn for couples. Vaseline on the lens, New Age-y music in the background, and a lot of gentle "lovemaking," a term that makes me cringe. Real female orgasms, on the other hand, are crucial to my enjoyment. It is also very nice to be disproved on occasion, which I definitely was in this case.

"My Girlfriend's Mother, Vol. 3" stars Inari Vachs as the young mother of Alyssa Branch, a college student who brings home her new boyfriend (Joey Brass) home for dinner. Although hubs Nick Manning seems to think Joey is an okay guy, Inari is skeptical. She had Alyssa young, you see, and she doesn't want her daughter to fall into the same traps she did. She's skeptical of this young buck and his entrepreneurial spirit, although, to be honest, a gourmet sandwich stand at movie theaters does sound like a good idea. Obviously, since Inari and Joey are nekkid on the cover of the DVD, it's safe to assume she gets over her initial reaction and, you know, fucks him. Eventually. But first Inari gets thoroughly fucked by an extremely sweaty Nick Manning, while in another part of the house Joey and Alyssa are trying unsuccessfully to keep their own moans on the down low.

Inari also needs to get some advice from her best friend Nica Noelle about sleeping with a younger man, who then turns to her lover Mr. Marcus about her friend's crazy idea before they have a lot of sweaty, hot, awesome sex. And then, finally, Inari goes to Joey's house to say they must end it! But of course they don't. And, thank goodness, because if they had, we'd have missed out on quite a scene. These are all fairly typical vanilla couples scenes; there's the barest amount of spanking, no throat-fucking, and no anal, so if that's what turns your crank, I'm sorry, this isn't gonna do it for you. However, if those are negotiable or complete turn-offs altogether, and you're not turned off by the mom/daughter's boyfriend dynamic, this is a treat.

What's unique about Noelle's style is that she encourages the performers to react naturally and not contort themselves into the usual porn positions. Does any woman really keep their legs splayed wide open when they're getting awesome head? I'm sure you're out there, and I salute you, but I'd rather see a female performer's thighs clasped around her partner's head than the typical spread-and-lick of most porn pussies. The sex has less of the guy manipulating the woman's body into certain angles and more body-to-body touching and kissing. So even though Nick Manning makes a rather disconcerting buzzing noise when he's eating Inari out, I'd guess he's doing it because it's pleasurable -- because it sure as hell doesn't look or sound sexy.

Manning has a sort of old-school male performer look about him; he's tanned and beefy around the chest, and he makes crazy dragon faces when he's fucking Inari. Obviously, Mr. Marcus is hot as hell, but the real star of the show is Joey Brass. He's got that wiry, tattooed skater boy swagger and tons of stamina. All three male performers get super, ridiculously sweaty, but Joey is unstoppable.

The chemistry between the performers and their enjoyment of this sort of filming shows. Each female performer has multiple orgasms, the kind that make you look utterly ridiculous and your makeup run everywhere because you just don't give a fuuuuck. This is probably most apparent in the scene between Alyssa and Joey. Joey knows the effectiveness of a good old-fashioned dry hump, and at one point, he actually seems to be encouraging Alyssa to not do the whole leg-snapping-open thing while they're fucking on their sides. Refreshing! Alyssa must have thought so too, because, as she reveals during the BTS interview, she broke a nail during the scene.

The BTS interviews are a nice touch, too. Alyssa and Joey talk about how hard it is to unlearn the typical porn tricks (see above re: leg snapping) and forgetting about everyone else on set in order to just, you know, enjoy having sex. The BTS interview with Nica and Mr. Marcus is right after their scene, and they're locked in a totally sweaty embrace; while Nica talks, Mr. Marcus is rubbing her breast and smooching her shoulder.

If you're looking for a heterosexual, female-centric porn, you're in the right place. (If you're looking to find out what happens after Joey and Inari finally bone, well, I can't help you with that.)

Why this porn is good for straight girls:

* Multiple, eye-rolling, screeching, awesome orgasms for the female stars.

* Lots of kissing and close contact, even in favor of more performative angles or shots

* Mr. Marcus!

* JOEY BRASS.

* If you want to delve into the world of hardcore porn but are slightly squeamish about some porn staples, this is a good place to start. Or stay. Whatever floats your boat, you know?

* It avoids the flowery, lovey-dovey crap that's a turn-off for people who would normally turn their noses up against terms like "lovemaking" in the context of porn (ahem).

* Duh, you don't have to be in a couple to enjoy this!

· Sweet Sinner (sweetsinner.com)
· Buy "My Girlfriend's Mother 3" (store.fleshbot.com)