“Spandex Loads” Are Like Champagne Wishes, But With Loads

I once had the pleasure of having my spot stolen by Mr. Robin "Lifestyles of the Rich And Famous" Leach during the AVN Awards red carpet. Had I arrived? Had he fallen? What did that mean for Dave Navarro? Anyway, if only I'd known about "Spandex Loads" then, I could have reclaimed my purloined space by shouting "Add these to your caviar dreams, Rupert Murdoch!"

The healthy Asa Akira begins her morning stretches with some bends. Luckily there is a camera there as her spandected ass slowly fills the frame. We admire Akira and director Kevin Moore for delivering a credible workout, even if Akira is wearing high heels on her yoga mat.

We also appreciate the attention Moore (this is a P.O.V. movie, so it's really important to him) pays to the spandex fetish, even if we don't share it. Akira appears in several different hues of spandex, bending this way and that to Moore's convex lens, which is the pornographer's chosen tool of ass amplification.

Like a hot-ass fish caught through a hole in the ice, Akira finally gets her load delivered through a tear in her gym outfit, and we couldn't be happier for Moore, who probably gleefully ran right down to Sport Chalet for more.

We're also that much more enamored of Akira, who respects the fetish and takes her role in it—as the warm body to which the spandex clings so lovingly—seriously and in good humor.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Spandex Loads 3" (aebn.net)