As Soon As You Say “Anal Virgins,” Everybody Comes Running

And the weird thing is, it's not like people are interested in "Anal Virgins" because they admire the girls for keeping their asses cock-free, everybody just wants to pop that butt cherry. And we bet you would feel cheated if this movie only featured vaginal penetration, huh?

Don't worry, it's absolutely filled with girls getting their buttholes banged, but let this be a lesson to never judge a movie by its title. What if this had been a movie about obsessive-compulsive girls who never have sex?

Lucy Bell loses her anal virginity at the massage parlor, like many of us do. Her masseuse is trying to discover the source of tension in her body, and finds that every muscle in her body is loose and free except for her tight little asshole. There are a number of ways to fix that, but only one of them will get you on the cover of "Anal Virgins," and so Lucy decides to let him pound her pucker until the orgasms blast the stress from her body. Unfortunately, she didn't make the cover.

Ferrara Gomez gives her ass to a clumsy boyfriend, like many of us do. In the middle of a nice pussy pounding, he slips out and tries to hop back in without looking, unfortunately, a combination of Ferrara's extreme wetness and the fact that men are scoundrels leads to the guy sticking it in her anus. She protests, but he's too busy marveling at the heat and tightness to hear her; Ferrara soon realizes that she loves the feeling, too, and they proceed. Yes, it ends happily, but that guy is still a jerk.

You know who gets her asshole done right? Samantha Yolie. Her man rolls up all smooth-like, wearing a sweater vest, sporting short fingernails and a fresh toy for her butthole. He gets her good and ready before he even gets a blowjob: that is a man right there. For all of his hard work and consideration, he gets to spoon Samantha on the couch, and screw her sweet booty in a way that Ice Cube described as, "so deep, so deep it put her ass to sleep."

Yes, it was a good day to be one of the "Anal Virgins."

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