What Would Freud Say About Your “Teen Anal Nightmare,” Ivana Sugar?

Ivana Sugar is smoking a cigarette in the woods wearing a hoodie. Then she is pursued by some Unseen Thing. Whilst sleeping at home, she is anally penetrated by a black man. Which part was the dream?

Let's face it: If I understood dreams, I'd run a casino. Still, I don't get why, if blonde and taut Ivana Sugar is so concerned about being chased through the woods, she continues smoking. If you are concerned about being anally penetrated, says the Surgeon General, don't get winded.

Anyway, a closer analysis (and you can't spell "analysis" without—oh, never mind) reveals that Sugar, who doesn't lock the outside door to her bedroom and who sleeps nearly naked, maintains a certain deniability throughout the scene, keeping her eyes mostly shut, even as her partner Slaps That Ass.

Eventually she must open her eyes to discern between her dream lover's jutting cock or belly, so the game is up if she were to ever argue that she wasn't awake.

My feeling having watched all of the "Teen Anal Nightmare" movies for my APA certification is that the only people who would consider these scenarios a nightmare are the women's parents.

· "Teen Anal Nightmare 3" is coming soon from West Coast Productions (westcoastproductions.com)