Lindsay Lohan’s Nipples Are Preventing Her From Acting

Lindsay Lohan's arguably grimy father recently said that the (legal prescription) drugs Lindsay takes are preventing her for reaching her full dramatic potential. We now know that those allegations are completely false. These pictures prove that the only thing preventing LiLo from acting her heart out is her inability to keep her tits tucked in that dress.

And it's not her fault: look at that dress! Yes, the dress is great on her, and we know she's going to make a great Elizabeth Taylor in this Lifetime channel biopic she's working on, but can't someone give her some tape to keep yonder nipple in place? Or can Lifetime hand this project off to HBO so we can get Elizabeth Taylor with tasteful nudity? How about handing this off to Cinemax so we get a twelve-part softcore biopic?

Nothing? Well, Lindsay, you're looking as gorgeous as always.