Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Climax Rabbits

Like you, when we heard the name of this product we thought, "Is this the long-awaited sequel to 'The Thorn Birds'?" We are happy to report that this is true. Using the Climax Rabbits is like having a Little Pink Richard Chamberlain For Your Vagina™.

Not familiar with sex toy lore (our loremaster is having his futon reupholstered), we were confused as to why this sort of device, which at best resembles a rabbit foot or perhaps a porpoise, is called a rabbit. More than anything the Climax Rabbits look like a frank outcropping of jello from an even franker dessert.

One AA battery powers this 4" toy, with the standard twist bottom to manipulate speeds.

Our test subject, a friend from college who likes to watch striking writers from her office at a Hollywood studio, said that this vibrator is perfect for her fashionable handbag.

"I can get one off under the desk without my boss knowing being the wiser," she said.

"You were never that quiet in college," we pointed out.

"I was faking then," she said.

Oh snap!

On closer inspection, the Climax Rabbits toy is actually molded to depict a hare with his ears flattened. All right. That makes sense. But why is the product named plurally? I don't drive a Honda Accords. Regardless, it is pink and translucent which, according to the copy on the packaging, "sheds light on ecstasy."

Maybe that's why we broke up; I didn't shine enough light on ecstasy.

· Buy a Climax Rabbit (dearlady.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)

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Previously: MATK Archive