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Toes Are The New Fingers

AMATEUR


If there's one thing we could have held onto from our esteemed apish antecedents, opposable toe digits would be nice. Imagine the extra stuff you could do: one could use them to shoot off some emails, shuck some oysters, or give a crazy, jizz-slinging footjob that rivals those done with the most dexterous of hands. Oh, wait, some blessed crazy toe-people can do this anyway? Okay then.

So next time you take a stroll down the summer sidewalk, take a glance down at all the sandal-clad feetsies marching along. Can you guess which of those delicate digits has found itself at the expert end of a Grade-A FJ? That's sort of a fun game. And if anyone catches us giving their toes the eye, well, we can always say we like their shoes.

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