Noir Film Nudity Is So Moody, Yet So Arousing

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A hard-boiled gangster/deadbeat father returns home with a tow­ing the body of a teenaged girl and a bound and gagged young man. His wife, Isabella Rossellini, is somewhere in the house, but before he finds her, he has to explore the madness he's suppressed. Yes, madness and titties.

As far as we can remember, we've ever seen a noir film with boobs in it. You could say that "Blue Velvet" counts, but that might be cheating. Think about the classics instead: would "The Maltese Falcon" be the same with a little nipple action? Would "The Big Sleep" not seem so ridiculously long if there were a bit of boob to keep us going? And how would Humphrey Bogart feel about all this? We bet he'd be down. Good ol' horndog Humphrey.

· "Keyhole" (imdb.com)