It’s A Hard Cock “Life” For Danny D.

Can Danny D., an affable Brit blessed with a huge schlong, hope to sell a straight porn movie based on his name recognition? No. But he should. (Porn is Unfair.)

A Day in the Life of Danny D.

Studio: Harmony Films
Director: Stevie O.
Starring: Danny D., Aleska Diamond, Megan Coxxx, Angel Rivas, Misha, Caprice Jane, Avril Sun, Ferrara Gomez, Kai Taylor

Review by: Gram Ponante

This is a perfectly good porn film save for the fact that it is not titled to sell.

My world is insular; the only women I know who watch porn are the ones making it. But it is a marketing fact that straight men do not buy straight porn films to see the guys. So if women won't buy the movie, and men won't buy the movie, that means no one will get to watch Mr. D. nearly choke Megan Coxxx and Aleska Diamond in the routine act of receiving a blowjob.

If this movie had been called "Choice London Slags," "Thames the Gapes," or "Dr. Who," it would have a fighting chance, especially since it's worth watching: who doesn't feel the vicarious thrill of being discovered just knowing the performers are in England and in very real danger of being busted in on by bobbies with torches and hauled away in a bobbylorry?

And the first thing those bobbys would do is ask Aleska Diamond and Megan Coxxx why they're still wearing clothes halfway through their scene. There's a fire in the fireplace, for Christ's sake; it's not like it's cold.

Later, we watch Danny pick up a hitchhiker whilst driving a vehicle on the right side of the road. Hey. Wait a minute. Is it still the same DAY in his LIFE? At the very least it's the next day. Then he teams up with another fellow to service a woman in the bathtub (this scene is my favorite as it made me wonder what excuse each of them made to be in the bathroom at the same time).

Finally D. lets loose on two Eurovixens in a club. The movie ends without D. giving a valedictory speech, so we feel incomplete and unshepherded.

Were this a late-nite cable show with viewers given the opportunity to watch the affable Danny D. in the business of one day (which would certainly include a porn scene and all the requisite heating up of the female talent), that is a movie I can imagine weary business travelers would rent in their hotel rooms.

But the "Day in the Life" motif broke down after the first scene and, by the end, Danny D. wasn't even the star of his own movie.

· Harmony Films (harmonyvision.com)
· Buy "A Day in the Life of Danny D." (tlavideo.com)