Beatify Your Meat To “The Insatiable Miss Saint”

When porn references "Miss Saint," we immediately think of the legendary Czech cutie Silvia Saint, but this movie is actually all about Samantha Saint. We don't think she's trying to unseat Silvia as the number one Miss Saint, but damn: this movie shows that Samantha is destined to become one of history's pornographic titans.

We haven't seen the movie, but these pictures are worthy of much praise and private ogling in a quiet bedroom with your pants around your ankles. Samantha Saint is gorgeous, a gangster, and she's got a good head on her shoulders (that gets even better in someone else's lap).

Maybe "gangster" seems like a strange way to characterize Samantha, but we ask you: how else can you characterize the girl when she steps out of a Rolls Royce Phantom and rubs her bare ass on the grill? That's how Rick Ross writes songs (when he's not making Maybach Music)! She goes from luxurious ride to riding a couple of tied down boys--Voodoo and James Deen--in the mansion. They're tied up in chairs sitting back to back, but Samantha manages to cowgirl Voodoo's cock while jerking James's. How can she do this? Because she wants it. She pushes them as hard as she pushes herself, and they respond with a wild spitroasting and a double dose of man-marinade to her chin.

But Samantha isn't done with Voodoo, not by a long shot. He comes back in another scene, this time wearing a leather dog mask and trapped in a tiny cage. His mistress makes him smell her pussy through the bars until he begs to be let out; Samantha obliges, but she keeps him (and his cock) on a short chain. She doesn't want to be too cruel to her pet, and he does behave rather nicely as she polishes his pecker, so she allows Voodoo to do what a dog does best: pound it in doggy style. After being in that cage for so long, he's eager to get some exercise, and he really puts his whole body--back, legs, arms, and hips--into fucking Samantha's tight pussy.

Later that night, Samantha has a wet dream about being surrounded by stiff-cocked mystery men who want nothing more than to use her body and come all over her face. She wakes up and discovers her dream has come true: five intruders have broken into the house and now surround her with their long, hard dicks! Samantha's only problem is that she doesn't know where to begin. Is there a formal way to begin a blowbang? (We knew we should've taken that erotic Victorian etiquette class.) Anyway, props to the creepy intruders for wearing flashlights on their heads. Not only does this give the scene a strange light, but it allows us to make a joke about miners going in her holes. Or not. We don't have to take the bait.

If you haven't been keeping an eye out for Samantha Saint, now is the time to start, and "The Insatiable Miss Saint" is the perfect DVD to kick off your obsession with her.

· Jules Jordan (julesjordan.com)
· Buy "The Insatiable Miss Saint" (store.fleshbot.com)