We’d Like To Creamp Your Style, Victoria Sweet

It's true: As we watch Czech beauty Victoria Sweet simulate masturbation in a ridiculous leopard-print outfit on a municipal bike path, our prevailing thought is: Let's come inside that.

The creampie is the kissing cousin of the money shot, itself the very basis of the Porno-Industrial Complex. Instead of watching ejaculate fly and land—proof that love has been consummated—we watch as the ejaculator slowly pulls out of the orifice of his affection, taking some of his seed with him.

On to "Internal Combustions 17."

The petite Sweet is 21 (and is not to be confused with the other Victoria Sweet, a California native six years her senior who shoots for some of the same companies, or with the sexy cougar Veronica Avluv, who once went by the name Victoria Sweet)(and you wonder why no one gets residuals in porn) and she is wearing this leopard bustier/thong/glove ensemble as cars go by below. In addition to wondering what she'd look like with come dripping out of her, we really hope she doesn't get arrested by a citizen bicyclist.

Have no fear: Ms. Sweet is soon in a ratty (Prague, we're thinking) apartment getting fucked on a couch that looks like ours.

But it's strange: Unlike other porn scenes, we feel the urge to race to the end. Not because Sweet doesn't have a lot to offer, but because the premise is the creampie, not how we got there. So the creampie is even more goal-oriented than most straight porn, right up there with movies about coming on glasses.

Anyway, Ms. Sweet gets her creampie, and we'd like to think she biked home afterward, leaving a little trail.

· Zero Tolerance (zerotolerance.com)
· Buy "Internal Combustion 17" (tlavideo.com)