“Foot Soldiers 3” Brings New Meaning To The Term “Toe Jam”

You know the stuff that collects between your toes? We're calling that "schmutz" now, "toe schmutz" if you want to be specific, because that gunk is nothing like jam, jelly, or marmalade. From now on, when you say "toe jam," you will be referring to the act of jamming your toes in someone's mouth while they fuck you. Somebody tell the dictionary people to note these changes.

Anyway, the whole reason we're shifting definitions is so we can tell you that there is a ton of toe jamming going on in this movie. You see, if we hadn't taken a paragraph to tell you what toe jamming meant, we would've had to say, "There are a lot of people sucking on toes while they touch genitals in this movie!" and that is so clumsy.

Katie St. Ives and James Deen work out a way that they can suck each other's toes at the same time, and they look ever so happy nuzzling and nipping at all the little piggly-wigglies they can. Katie even stands on James's face twice! We're not sure how the feeling of her heel grinding into his jaw gets him off, but it nearly makes his cock pop through his jeans. After a series of banging positions in which James gets to lap at Katie's toes while thrusting all his weight behind his cock, there's nothing left for him to do except jizz betwixt her soles. Yep, those two soles are joined together and bonded by the sticky warmth of love; the symbolism is overwhelming, isn't it?

Speaking of love, let's talk about the way Mr. Pete lays down some sweet rubbing upon Dani Jensen's tired feet. Homeboy rubs them feet through the socks and smiles at the way her muscles flex beneath the flesh and cotton. He removes the sock, inhales the rich odors of her little toe, cradles the ball of her feet in his hands, and then--aroused beyond all reasonable comprehension--he starts eating Dani's pussy. Imagine what we're missing without smell-o-vision! Dani's foot probably smells like a unicorn playing harp music on a river made of rainbows, and only Mr. Pete gets to reap its boner-inducing effects. As he takes Dani in doggy style, he slips a thumb in her ass and runs his fingers along the sensitive spots between her toes--Dani feels invaded in the most delicious way, and Mr. Pete comes in almost no time. They both want more, so Pete fucks Dani hard enough to make her chomp on her own knee until he comes on her feet. Ejaculating on feet is mandatory in "Foot Soldiers 3".

Even if you're not normally into foot play, you ought to give "Belladonna's Foot Soldiers 3: Don't Tread On Me" a try. It's not about having or not having a certain fetish, it's about being open to banging with new parts of your body, it's about strengthening your sexuality through variety; really, it's like taking your libido to CrossFit.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Belladonna's Foot Soldiers 3: Don't Tread On Me" (store.fleshbot.com)