Arabella Annexes Your Ratty Couch, Institutes Topless Dress Code

We know you loved that old leather couch--even though it keeps eating your keys, your change, and any of your friends that crash on it--but we're sorry to say that's it's no longer yours. Arabella claimed it when you weren't looking, and she looks great upon it, and recent polls show that people are overwhelmingly in favor of her administration, especially in regards to her stripping policies.

Her stripping policies are quite simple actually: she strips when she feels like it, and she always feels like it, and you should feel like watching her. Normally, politicians who try to dictate the private behaviors of their constituents get in trouble, but pretty much everyone is down to check out Arabella's body art and pierced nipple. And is she getting new work done, or are we simply getting a better look at the faint lines by her breasts?

· Via Front TV (frontarmy.com)