Club Elegant Angel: Heaven-Sent Hotties At A Divinely Low Price

It used to be that you could buy indulgences from the church to absolve you of your sins and get into heaven. Nowadays, you can indulge your sinful side by buying a membership to Elegant Angel's paysite and enjoying access to the kind of porn they have in motel rooms in heaven. The end result is the same: you feel good about parting with your money and your libido gets renewed and reinvigorated. We swear that this process is much easier now than it used to be.

Let's not dwell on practices of the Catholic church--this ain't no 95 Theses--and instead let's discuss the virtues of the vice-rich paysite called Club Elegant Angel, which we recently had the good fortune to peruse and perv upon.

You probably know Elegant Angel, how they work, what their stuff looks like, how many awards they've won: they can show you babes getting banged in front of a plain white background, they can have your car mauled by a pair of giant asses, or they can place you alongside a quiet, isolated young woman and watch as she sells her body to the rich and sadistic specters of Los Angeles. They have range, they have class, and they made sure that Club Elegant Angel reflects that.

The site is excellently organized, and even though videos and pictures are cleanly separated, there is great fluidity between the sections. You can browse through Lisa Ann's photos, check her popularity ranking with other pornstars, zoom to the babe right above her (Rebeca Linares), find out what videos she has, watch her take an anal pounding from Nat Turnher, browse the other scene from the movie that brought them together, tag it, favorite it, comment on it, and even watch behind-the-scenes footage from it.

In fact, the easy access to BTS material may be my favorite part of Club Elegant Angel. If you fancy yourself a voyeur, and you want your hardcore pussy-pounding bouquet to come with a little extra whiff of authenticity, then you probably covet actual porn DVDs as much as I do because they allow you to hit the special features and see what goes on before, during, and after a sex scene. Sometimes BTS footage can be cheesy or awkward, but we've never felt that way about Elegant Angel's stuff. Many of their most popular releases (really, most of the work done by famed-director Mason a.k.a. Sam No) blend interviews with hardcore action, and so they have a serious catalog of intimate moments with pornstars. This is rare!

I'm clearly advocating the purchase of memberships at Club Elegant Angel, but before I put an official stamp on it, let's look at the numbers. They ask for $30 for a month, $60 for three months, and $90 for a year (which comes to $7.45 per month), and at this moment, that buys you access to nearly 2000 videos and 131 galleries featuring 1005 pornstars. That's a crazy amount of smut, and considering how often the site gets updated (with material from DVDs that are brand-spanking-new), you may never find the time to watch all of it.

If that doesn't sound enticing enough, EA is offering two day trial memberships for free. You know what that means? Sign up for the trial, cancel all of your plans, and spend the whole weekend exploring the splendor that flows from this mighty chalice called Club Elegant Angel.

· Club Elegant Angel (clubelegantangel.com)

[At top: Katie St. Ives points to your penis's landing pad, courtesy of Elegant Angel.]