Tanya Tate Is The Hardcore Kelly LeBrock In “Weird Science XXX”

Life must be very exciting for Tanya Tate these days. Last month she had her body parts immortalized in cyberskin thanks to Fleshlight, and now she's starring in a pornographic remake of one of the most beloved teen romps of the '80s, "Weird Science." Kelly LeBrock helped a lot of nerds and blued many pairs of balls, so Tanya really has her work cut out for her.

"Weird Science XXX" definitely draws details from the source material, but the central plot has been adjusted so that the boys are older and, well, able to be sexed up by Tanya. That means there's no wild house party, which is a bummer, but they more than make up for it.

Danny D is in love with a girl at work, but she never notices him, so he spends most of his time moping in front of his roommate, Dick Bush. One day, they decide to put bras on their head (classic!) and use science to make a Barbie doll into a real human, and this produces the magical, mystical, MILF-ical Tanya Tate in their doorway. She's even wearing a half-shirt and everything! Now, in the original film, the boys were so intimidated by Kelly that they couldn't even shower naked with her (they wore their jeans), but Danny D doesn't have that problem at all. In fact, Tanya uses her reality warping powers to make his cock larger before they have a wet and steamy sex session. Isn't that sweet of her?

Well, her sweetness ends there; the rest of the movie is all tough love. Danny says he wants a better job, so Tanya zaps him into the body of a firefighter mid-rescue! She comes along in a red leather catsuit (naturally), and rides his newly fattened cock in the back of the firetruck once he's done with the heroism and near-death experience. As much as Danny enjoys the sex, he can't really handle the stress, and Tanya says he needs more confidence.

And nothing builds confidence quite like getting beaten up by Abbie Cat! Yes, Danny D suddenly finds himself in the ring, face to face with the sporty (yet oh so busty) Abbie, who doesn't hesitate to put her pink gloves right up in his eye socket. He doesn't enjoy kissing the mat all that much, so he wishes his way out of that world and into...

The body of Katie K. We don't know what he says or how Tanya twists his words, but all of a sudden, Danny is a hot stripper wearing a skimpy white outfit, and he has to go out on stage and pole dance his heart out. Katie and Tanya get a little cozy with each other, smooching and groping in the way that two reality bending babes often do, but before we can ponder the gender issues at work in this scene, Danny is back in his old life, just in time to go to work and wind up in a hostage situation.

Yes, if there's one thing "Weird Science" needed, it was a hostage situation. Fortunately, Television X decided to give "Weird Science" at least twenty things it needed (nineteen of which are huge naked breasts), and according to our calculations, "Weird Science XXX" is going to be a spectacular porn parody.

(Actually, it already is a spectacular porn parody...if you have access to Television X. If you don't, you'll be waiting for that DVD to come out. So, how's your patience?)

· Television X - Spoof Season (televisionx.com)