A Woman’s Orgasm, In Her Words

A certain friend of mine sent me the attached bit of hotness. She generously consented to my sharing it with you. I fucking love reading about orgasms. I hope you find this as insanely hot as I do. There's a giant "[sic]" at the end. I thought of editing it, but decided it read better un-edited.

orgasms,

so fraught.

for the first 37 years of my life, i had a ‘did i or didnt i?' relationship to orgasms. i often had a feeling like i came close but was never sure. despite that missing piece i certainly enjoyed sex.

my forays into masturbation were fruitless. i would give up before even seeing a glimpse of an orgasm, my own touch is much less exciting than somebody elses and without that potential payoff, i just didnt see why it was worth bothering.

at some point, and, after years of listening to the hype, i caved and got a magic wand. i dont remember now what fueled this particular bout of exploration, but i immediately felt the difference.

when i hold the wand of the left side of my clit, (and usually i keep a piece of cloth between me and the wand to dull the sensation a little) i feel it register deep in my pelvis. i feel a tingling. it feels good.

but because of my history, i feel like i'm always jealously chasing my orgasms. i would love to be teased and denied but because i feel like they are scarce i relentlessly chase them down.

i am not living some sexual fantasy, i am not thinking of a story. sometimes my cunt feels empty and i picture fingers inside. sometimes i place myself at the last place i've come (assuming its not my couch)

eventually there come a point a no return, at some point when i am holding the wand on my clit, i can see the orgasm in my future, i see it down the hallway (that's what i picture, a hallway and i'm running down the hallway) once that happens, i trust that it will happen and i try and relax a little, if i'm feeling adventurous i try and pull back and tease myself a little, bringing myself close and pulling back. i know if i do this, the orgasm will be more powerful, but i have had the experience that i miss the boat entirely so i don't always do this.

i feel electricity shooting down my thighs, and, oh right, i'm clenching really hard the whole time. i find if i squeeze my pc muscle the orgasm comes more quickly so i squeeze and, in doing so, often hold my breath and contort my face, reminding myself the whole time to ‘relax' and ‘breathe'. sometimes when i'm in this place i have to remind myself that i can move the wand. i get so fixated on ‘that perfect place' i forget that it can feel good to move it around a little too. similarly, talking to me is distracting and, although in my fantasies, i am able to come with someones fingers or even cock inside me, for the most part it seems like an impossibility.

the tension builds and builds and eventually explodes through.

i picture a wave crashing. i picture my cervix contracting, i picture fireworks but seen from above, almost reminds me of a jellyfish swimming. my hips buck involuntarily (which incidentally, i love, i love that my body does this without me and was a revelation the first times i came). sometimes i squirt a little, sometimes i dont

the first one is the hardest to come by. usually when im at home masturbating i'll start and somewhere after 5 i have to start rationing "ok, 1 more and i'll stop"

i've had to just masturbate now, to make sure i didnt forget anything. i did forget how i move my hips to meet the wand, curl them up and rock them slightly. i cry out when i come; often just ‘ohh" but sometimes ‘motherfucker yeah". tickles me when that happens.

Republished with permission from My Dissolute Life. Want to see your true tale of lust on Fleshbot? Contact us.