Wicked Stepmother: Julie Simone in “Cruel Relations”

"Do you like the way Mommy fucks you with a strap-on?" is a line we never thought we'd hear again after our career-redefining audition for "The Wonder Years." But Julie Simone says it to poor, tortured Davey.

Simone is a brassy, bratty bitch in this movie, taking her sweet time t smoke a cigarette in full business-femdom regalia before summoning poor-sap stepson, Davey, with a series of painful slaps.

"I know why you married Dad," he says ineffectually, "and I won't give you my half of the business."

So not only has Davey lost his lone male authority figure, but he is about to get flogged into submission by his stepmother, who demands he call her "Mommy."

I don't want to get into any victim-blaming here, but there really is nothing keeping Davey from leaving. Instead he stays, puts on a dress, and gets made up. Only when he is presentable does Stepmom fuck him.

If "Terms of Endearment" is not streaming on Netflix, "Cruel Relations" isn't the best substitute. But if you want to see some angry stepmom-on-stepson action, this is the one.

· Julie's Bitch Boys (juliesbitchboys.com)