Exclusive: The Hardcore Trailer For “Xena Warrior Princess XXX”

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We've already seen some of the swords, sandals, and sex that's packed into Exquisite Films' latest parody, but now--as if by magic--we get to see that sex in motion. Here, for the very first time, is the hardcore trailer for "Xena Warrior Princess XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody."

Now, we already know about the cast list, who fucks whom, and what the settings look like, so what does this trailer really give us? Well, for one, it gives us the pleasure of seeing genitals smash against each other--that's always a given, always a joy. Second, we get to see the special effects at work: Cupid's arrows give off a little sparkly effervescent fire when they hit people, and we're hoping that this gets worked into the sex somehow. We want to see people banging each other because of Cupid's work and we want Cupid's inevitable cumshot to be accompanied by sparkles. We're demanding.

Third, we get to see some of the fighting! Swords, staffs, bows, fists and even chakrams get used, and if there's one thing we love more than Phoenix Marie's horny face, it's her vicious teeth-baring face (yes, they're almost identical, that's why we like them). We don't care if you think the Xena-Gabrielle sex scene is obvious; we're excited for this, our inner teenagers are excited for this, and you can bet your bippy that we're going to be ululating along with Xena throughout this whole damn film when it comes out next month.

· Exquisite Films (exquisitefilmsxxx.com)
· @ExquisiteFilms (twitter.com)