Ask Camille: Permission To Rim

What's the best way to move from going down on a girl to rimming her? Ask first (awkward) or just go for it (really awkward if she's really not into it.) I love rimming and have had several positive responses to it, but have also had one girl freak out - and I can't think of a polite way to bring up in conversation before making out to ask if rimming would be cool or not, and while you are eating her out it just seems weird to stop and ask questions.

Very good question, and it's a good thing that you asked before putting your tongue anywhere.  In fact, it's a good thing TO ask before putting your tongue anywhere.  I'm a big fan of seduction and taking someone by surprise within reason, but a lot of people are sensitive about analingus for a number of reasons.

For one, not everyone is into it, or at least they may need some discussion to get on board.  Second, a lot of people are really self-conscious about cleanliness and might want to go shower first just for peace of mind.  And besides, a lot of people just like a warning before a somewhat taboo sex act.

You don't need to ask before anything gets started.  I'm a firm believer in taking things as they come.  If it's more comfortable for you to get it out of the way, though, consider whispering into her ear about all the things you want to do to her, including that you might even like to rim her if she's into it, kissing her neck and pausing for a response.  If it turns into a little talk, just listen and be respectful, clarifying that it's something you have always liked to do and something that you want to try with her.  If you can make it feel important and fun to you without pressuring her, that's the best you can do.

You can also find a really seductive way to pause teasingly from going down on her to tell you exactly how sexy you think her ass is and how much you'd like to make her feel good with your tongue.  Tell her that it's something you really enjoy, but also that it's something you'll really enjoy because she's so sexy.  Making a woman feel irresistible and framing your desires as something attached to her will be inclined to make her way more comfortable and willing.  If she suggests a quick shower, just roll with it.  I know it might feel like a bit of a mood killer, but it's something that will make her feel more at ease and it's likely to go by the wayside as analingus becomes routine for the two of you.

Negotiating sex can always be a little awkward, but by being honest and direct and making it clear how hot it is for you, it can easily become a very commanding and enticing come-on.  Think of it this way...  If you find someone so sexy that you want to rim them, it's quite the compliment.  Keep that spirit in mind as you broach the subject and I'm sure that you'll have lots to lick.

· See more of Camille Crimson at The Art of Blowjob and CamilleCrimson.com (theartofblowjob.com + camillecrimson.com)

Camille Crimson is not a doctor. This column is for informational and entertainment purposes only. For more advice, head over to the Ask Camille archive.