The Rare Deep-Throated Blonde Swallower

'Tis an elusive bird indeed, a difficult creature to track then entice to your side with a particular warble and special treats. But we've pored over volumes of Audobon and various nature guides full of tips and tricks and are pleased to present some inside information.

The call sounds similar to a nightingale's song, and similar to, "Would you please indulge me in a rockin' BJ, my sensual sweetheart?" The special treat is either artisanal granola or a turgid, horny cock ready to blow. Oh, hold the phone -- we just received some updated information. It's actually only the latter that works. Good to know. We love amd respect these birds very much! Now can we make a joke about how having one in the hand is almost as sexy as two in the bush?

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