Anals Of Education: Phoenix Marie Gets Greek In “Frat House Moms”

Because I was recruited straight out of my correspondence Clinical Sexology school, I was unaware that there was such a thing as fraternity "Moms," like the one portrayed by Phoenix Marie. I believe deeply that this position is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

As chaperone to doofily-tattooed 18-22-year-old men, Phoenix Marie presides over a fraternity house and, as such, must occasionally take showers without getting her hair wet, which she does as our scene opens.

Unbeknownst to her, a young man is hiding in her room, stealing her panties. She discovers him and declares that he will be her little sex toy. Then she blows him, launching a series of events that culminates with him ejaculating on her gaping asshole.

Ah, college.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't care what Phoenix Marie's goddamn qualifications are: she should not be living in a frat house. It is an unsafe distraction for everyone. If everyone who steals her panties gets to ejaculate into her gaping asshole, then she will have no panties left. And how can she maintain discipline if she doesn't wear panties? The whole system would break down, and would probably culminate in someone ejaculating into her gaping asshole.

On the positive side, I appreciate that the "Mom" appellation specifically refers to Marie's stewardship of the fraternity rather than to an implication that she has borne offspring. It is only by reforming MILF abuses that we can stop ejaculating on the gaping asshole of porn terminology.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Frat House Moms" (tlavideo.com)