Harvest Season For Hotties: Fleshbot’s Fall TV Nudity Guide

To every season, turn, turn, turn the channel to premium cable because those bigwigs know that even though we say we're paying for gripping drama and exhilarating action, we're really paying for softcore porn. Summer programming is gone, but some of our favorite shows are just heating up.

In fact, there are so many cool shows coming back on the air, that we feel the need to divvy this post up by networks. Are you down with that? Do our organizational skills get you hot?

Showtime:
Weeds has been going strong for most of the summer, and it's going to continue broadcasting that good dank stuff on your screen until September 16th. Then there's going to be a little lull. And then, on September 30th, "Homeland" comes back for its second season and "Dexter" returns for its seventh! We're already feeling pretty hyped about "Homeland" after learning all of that stuff about Morena Baccarin, so allow us to coax you into the blood-soaked world of "Dexter" by mentioning that Calista Flockhart is going to guest star in the first episode of the season. Why does this matter? Because, as the video above shows you, the first episode has the potential to be the sexiest of all.

HBO:
"Treme" will be back on September 23rd, but we don't have very high hopes for nudity on this show because we've only seen one pair of breasts in the last two seasons. We admit, they are very, very nice ones, and they come with cat ears and a necklace, but our point remains the same.

"Boardwalk Empire" is coming back on September 16th, but there's bad news: Paz de la Huerta is no longer on the show! Did you gasp? We fucking gasped twice. But we're not going to dwell on the loss of our beloved Lucy Danziger. No, we're looking forward to how HBO is going to make it up to us. We're hoping that they give us more vagina-on-vagina action as seen in the clip above. Homosexuality in the 1920's: we're all about it.

Starz:
"Boss" came back on the air last month, and so far, we've seen the ever-gorgeous Kathleen Robertson checking out her boobs in the mirror. We're happy about that, you know, we like breasts and whatnot, but "Boss" spoiled us last season. There were many trysts between Kitty and Ben--in private places, at work, in the hallway, wherever--but our favorite was and always shall be the first time they ever hooked up and everything went all slow motion and close to her body. Memories!

Cinemax:
Barring any surprise treats from Cinemax After Dark, the autumn brings us only "Strike Back," which has already aired four episodes. So far, we feel like this may be the best bet for nudity on TV this season; there have been two episodes with nakedness, and one of them even involved Natalie Becker pulling the old "Fast Times" pool routine. We figure that means the people behind "Strike Back" know to temper all of the violence and intrigue with random titties. They have winked at us, and we shall smile back.

Never forget to smile back at the people who fill your fantasies.