We Prefer Our Pussies Artisanally Iced

We don't have time for sloppy dudes who just spread their shizz all willy nilly (okay, actually we do). But there's something that makes us feel real special about a fellow who takes pride in his work, decorating a high-quality, locally sourced puss with delicate streaks of skeet, adorning it with elegant ornamentations of dynamic, comely daubs like a veritable artisan of the orgasm. Yeah, sometimes we fancy.

And though we always enjoy a creme-filled babe, we've gotta say that we tend to prefer a Ho-Ho over a Twinkie. Why not have stuff over and inside, right? Over and inside. Being indulgent is just fine, and besides, winter's approaching and we need to build up our bulk for the upcoming hibernation season. So by that we guess we mean... we'll be eating a lot of Ho-Hos and wanking to porn? Ah, winter.

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